When Thomas said “my Lord and my God”, he was acknowledging both the imminent and the transcendent presence of the Creator. At least, I think I have that right. I will defer to the theologians as I am but a simple man.
For me, rightly or wrongly, I see two images in that phrase of Thomas’s.
The “my Lord” is for me the expression of a relationship – a personal, human, visceral connection with the Almighty. Revealed in the incarnation, evidenced in the pascal mystery, experienced in the Holy Spirit. It is the insight that God is as close to me as the child in my arms, the friend in my prayers, the call on my phone. The “downstairs“ in my cosmic house.
The “my God” for me reflects the transcendent. The “upstairs”. The cause behind the Big Bang. The nuclear forces between particles, the slight tipping of the scales in the asymmetry between neutrinos and anti-neutrinos so that we have more matter than antimatter in our universe. The God of the rocks and trees, of the fish and animals, of the life forces and physical forces that shape the universe.
The truth, of course, is that God is both of these, and neither of these. They are just words that represent symbols that help this old brain think it can know the unknowable. But in our journey through this pandemic, it has become a perspective that helps me cope.
For “my God’s” creation is so much bigger that me, and as a human I am but a small part of the life that God has brought into existence on this planet. It reminds me that life is not all about me. Never really was. Never really will be. I am not in control. Never really was. Never really will be. The universe will unfold as it will. I can be angry at viruses. It doesn’t matter to them. They don’t care. They just do what viruses do. I might as well be angry at Quantum Mechanics. I am just a very very small part of a huge huge creation. And I am ok with that.
And the evidence I see of “my Lord” surrounds me. In the stories of people helping people. In watching my own children and grandchildren journey together … despite the hardships. In seizing the good, the caring, the loving from the events of the day. In laughIng together at the joys. In crying together at the sorrows. In choosing to see the best in the events and experiences of the day. Because “my Lord” is hidden in all of my encounters.
I am not sure what Thomas meant when he said those words. But when I think of his words in this way it helps me get perspective. Maybe it can help you too.