rocks

at times our life is like this picture. 

when we look back, it seems like we carry along with us so many rocks ..

the events in our life that have weighed us down.    hard times.  unforgiving places.

sometimes it seems that these events are ready to overtake us, and we can feel

overwhelmed.
weighted down.

afraid.

so we try to look to the future, but the path is not clear, and the options appear few, and it seems that there will be rocks waiting for us there as well…

ready to weigh us down.    and hurt us.

we fear those rocks.  

perhaps the greatest burden of all
is not the rocks themselves

or their weight

or their hardness

but rather our fear of the rocks

a fear that burdens us down, that hurts us more deeply, that cripples us

our fear of being out of control, of being paralysed, restricted, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered and controlled by circumstances beyond our control

our fear of humiliation and shame, the shattering of our sense of liveability, capability, worthiness

our fear of abandonment and rejection, a loss of connectedness, of not being wanted, not respected, not valued by others, not loved

for it is not the rocks, but rather the Fear that burdens us, robs our peace

for i know rocks well.

i carry, drag, many of them behind me and know there are many in my future.

i wish i could speak to you the words, that could allay those fears.  

but perhaps there really are no words.

just a picture

a picture that reminds me

that carrying the memories of past fears or fearing the future

is not real
is not where I am
right now
in this present moment

today, in this moment,
i limit my vision to this present moment

and i am free to ignore the rocks of past and future
to see that this day will reveal itself within my journey

choices will present themselves
some clear, some ambiguous
some a well-traveled path, some not

and in that moment,

i will look within my own heart,
discern the direction of the moment

and make that choice.

Perhaps it will be a good choice, perhaps not

but regardless of the outcome of the choice, or of the day, i will not lose sight that

i am loved
i am cherished
and that i am worthy of love

i am priceless
in the eyes of my family, my friends
and in the eyes of our Creator

let the rocks that follow me, follow me.
let those in my future await me.

in this moment, i choose not to fear them

in this moment,
i choose to enter this moment
and live this moment

and let the day unfold around me as it will

and when the noise of rocks becomes too loud
i close my eyes
and my ears
and my mind
and i retreat into this present moment

and the fear leaves me
and i am at peace

may you, too, find peace in the present moment ……