The process of trying to understand what God is calling you to become is known as “Discernment”. It is the process of discovering a deep-rooted sense of purpose in our loves, placed there by God. In this process there are two persons: God and you. And in order to discern God’s will in our life, we need to get to know both persons better. As you begin, remember that both you and God ultimately desire the same thing — your happiness. You want to make a decision about your life that will bring you happiness. Therefore, you and God are not working at cross purposes, but for the same goal.
The process of discernment, through often a struggle, in not complicated. It consists of four steps.
Step 1 — Be In Touch With Yourself
Know your likes and dislikes, your fears and dreams, your hopes and interests, your abilities and limitations. Get to know how you work under stress, what kind of leadership you respond to, how much structure you need in your life.
See how others view you in work situations, under stress, and at leisure. Reflect how you view others. Are you able to accept others, to work with them?
One way to look for a call for the Lord is to see Him acting all through your life. He created you with a unique personality and allowed you to experience a personal history. Your personality and personal history are part of your call. As you might get to know yourself, accept what you find. You might want to change some aspects of yourself in the future, but begin by accepting yourself as you are. You might keep a journal to record your feelings over a period of time. Going back over this journal and reflecting on changes in your feelings and ideas will give a picture of the person you are. Another road to self-discovery is to develop a relationship with a spiritual director or someone else whom you trust and who can be objective with you. If you are open and honest with this person, self-knowledge will increase.
Step 2 — Be In Touch With The Lord
Develop a life of prayer, not just in times of crisis, but regularly. No relationship develops between persons unless they listen to each other. You must learn to listen to the Lord in prayer and not merely ask Him to listen to you. You have to spend time with Him, listen to Him, be honest with Him, and occasionally be willing to wait on Him.
Prayer is a highly personal response to a personal love that God has for you individually. Because you are unique, your prayer response is going to be unique. Don’t hesitate to experiment with various forms of prayer until you find those which best express your relationship with the Lord. Many good books on prayer are available today. One you might want to consider is: You — Prayer for Beginners and Those Who Have Forgotten How, by Mark Link, S.J., Argus Communications. It is a guideline for prayerful contemplation and conversation with the Lord. It suggests various forms of experimentation in prayer. Another is He Touched Me, by John Powell, S.J. — another Argus book. Look for traces of the Lord in nature, in circumstances of your life, in other people. He is active in all. The better you get to know Him, the more you will be able to perceive his activity.
Step 3 — The Decision-Making Process Itself
As you become more in touch with yourself and with the Lord, prayerfully gather the fact about your decision. Consider alternatives. Write out the pros and cons of each alternative. Try to project what effect each alternative will have on you five and ten years from now. As you gather the facts about the alternative life choices open for you, be particularly attentive to your feelings. If you have been open and honest with yourself in Step 1 and with the Lord in Step 2, you can trust your feelings. Choose what appears to be the best for you and what appears to be God’s will.
Step 4 — Confirm Your Decisions
After you have made your decision, spend time in prayer for an extended period to see if the decision still seems right. If it is, there should be a continuation of inner peace and satisfaction. This period of conformation should go on for an extended interval, several weeks or more, to be sure that the peace you feel is true tranquility and not simply the relief that follows a difficult decision. You can also be confirmed in your decision by sharing it with your spiritual director or someone else with whom you have worked with throughout the process.
[adapted from http://www.cam.org.au]