Men of all ages in our culture are in such a sad state that it is no surprise that we wonder what planet they come from …….During their childhood and adolescence, they are more likely to suffer from slow mental development, a short attention span due to hyperactivity, behavioral problems, hyperanxiety, schizoid difficulties, transient or chronic spasms, stuttering, sleepwalking and nightmares, autism, as well as persistent and specific developmental problems such as dyslexia.
As adults, men make up a significant percentage of those who present personality disorders related to paranoia and compulsive or antisocial behaviour. They lack intimate relationships with other men because they have been taught to view them as competitors not to be trusted; they are reluctant to share their feelings because that makes them feel vulnerable. They don’t feel it manly to express their emotions in the most human way of all, by crying. They die younger than women, are four times as likely as women to suffer from alcoholism and drug addiction, and outnumber women three to one in the areas of suicide and high risk behaviour. They experience all kinds of stress without adequate release, and yet are the last to seek professional counselling for their problems, which is ironic, since admitting problems takes courage and courage is supposed to be the essence of manhood.
The first time that I read the above, I must admit that it disturbed me. Yet, as I sat with it, I began to see how true it was, both in general, and – this was the most challenging – for me in particular. How many of us men work in business cultures where to seek help is seen as a sign of weakness. Where we bury our feelings, our emotions. And how many times have we witnessed the very behaviours referred to in the article. Scary, isn’t it.
Which parts of the quote did you find most challenging? Why did you find them challenging? (dig deep – no shallow answers allowed !)
ยช Adapted from “What Men Are Like”, by John Sanford and Dr. George Lough, and “Absent Fathers, Lost Sons”, by Guy Corneau.