want to be more loving? here’s how ….

11th Sunday in Ordinary Time – Luke 7:36
One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and took his place at the table. And a woman in the city, who was a sinner, having learned that he was eating in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster jar of ointment. She stood behind him at his feet, weeping, and began to bathe his feet with her tears and to dry them with her hair. Then she continued kissing his feet and anointing them with the ointment.
Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw it, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what kind of woman this is who is touching him–that she is a sinner.” Jesus spoke up and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” “Teacher,” he replied, “Speak.” “A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he canceled the debts for both of them. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the greater debt.” And Jesus said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman, he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has bathed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore, I tell you, her sins, which were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.” Then he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” But those who were at the table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Lets take a moment to enter into today’s Gospel …

It was customary at the time of Jesus to offer water to guests who entered homes for a meal in order to wash the dust and dirt off their feet along with water to wash their faces and hands. This was a normal and expected courtesy. Here, in this episode, the Pharisee offered no water to Jesus even though Jesus was an invited guest. It was a snub, a snub that in effect said “You are dirt as far as I’m concerned.”  Normally a warm greeting with a kiss on the cheek was tendered. You see that even today among people in the Middle East when they meet and greet each other. Upon Jesus arrival into the Pharisee’s home He was given no kiss, no sign of closeness or friendship. In other words He was told He was an outsider. The message was: “You’ll get no warm welcome and no respect here!” Anointing with oil was another gesture of hospitality. Actually it was a kind of perfume. In those hot, dusty regions you can imagine the smells that must have accumulated in the clothes of travellers. Perfumed oil was a way of making the guests more comfortable. Anointing with oil also had a healing quality to take care of muscle aches, pains, and weaknesses.

In contrast we find the sinful woman, however, honoured Jesus with these common courtesies and crowned them all with her humble love. She was an outcast to be scorned and shunned by the doctor of the Law, but because of her love, her sins were forgiven by Jesus, the Son of God. In the merciful love and forgiveness of God, graces not found in the law, she was given a new lease on live, a new beginning in a new life.

Jesus makes it clear that great love springs from a heart that is forgiven and cleansed.

During the Gospel Reading, it was noticed that Jesus neither judged, nor rebuked the woman as the Pharisee expected.  Instead, He welcomed her. Of the woman who washed his feet with her tears Jesus said: Her sins, her many sins, must have been forgiven her, or she would not have shown such great love.  Great love springs from a heart that is forgiven and cleansed.

The theme from today’s Gospel is fairly obvious – it’s all about forgiveness

But there is a deeper theme.  A paradox, if you will.  It comes from Jesus’s conversation with the woman.

love grows in direct proportion to our willingness to forgive, and to be forgiven

Lets take the first part …

love grows in direct proportion to our willingness to forgive

Perhaps it is best illustrated with a little story.

Two monks, one old, one young, were going for a walk. They came across a beautiful woman standing beside a swollen river. But there is no ferry or bridge, and she asks the monks to help her across. The older monk picked up the woman, puts her on his shoulders, and wades across the very deep and fast flowing river. He deposits her safely on the other side. The other monk follows behind, at a distance.  After the woman has gone, the younger monk turns to the older monk and berates him. How could he hold a woman so intimately? What about his vows? Has he forgotten himself? The monk chastises his brother over and over again as they walk on.  After an hour of complaining, the older monk stops, and turns to the younger. ‘Brother’, he says, ‘I put that woman down an hour ago – why are you still carrying her?’.

What do you still carry around with you? What hurts done by others do you still hang on to?

Here’s a little test –  think back to an event where someone embarrassed you or ridiculed you, or insulted you?

How are you feeling about that person right now?  Honestly.

Can you be loving toward that person right now?  Or are you, like that younger monk, still carrying that person around with you.

You see, forgiveness of others frees YOU.  It frees you to become the more loving and caring person that, in your heart of heart, you want to be.

The second part is a bit harder.

love grows in direct proportion to our willingness to be forgiven

The power of God’s forgiveness allows me to be freed from my past and likewise gives me the freedom to be what He wants me to be and to be the person I really want to be.

When I reflect on today’s surrounding culture, presented as it is in our media and observing it in the attitudes of many, I can’t help but wonder how many people are really interested in being forgiven. Rather, most of us bury the parts of ourselves that are imperfect.  Our lack of patience.  Our deep-rooted anger, not resolved, but hidden.  Our tendency to pre-judge others.

We put it in a bag, seal it tight, and toss it over our shoulder, as if it was not part of us.  But all the while, we carry it with us.  It burdens us, and the more stuff we throw in that bag, the more burdened we become.  It affects our ability to love others, to love ourselves.  To love God.

There is only one who can lift that burden.  God.  Jesus makes it clear that great love springs from a heart that is forgiven and cleansed.

So, would you like to a more loving person?  To become all that God created you to be?

Then through forgiving others, you can put down the external loads you carry.

And through asking God’s forgiveness, in prayer, and in the sacraments, God will take away those inner loads that bear you down,  free you from your past and likewise give you the freedom to be what the more loving person He wants you to be, and to be the more loving person you really want to be.

And that, my brothers and sisters, is good news for us all.