Many years ago, I asked a Chaplain who I worked closely with – and greatly admired – what his greatest struggle was. His answer? Feeling comfortable in the ambiguity of life. I must admit to not fully appreciating the richness of his insight until I got older.
I see and sense around me a lot of anxiety related to covid-19. Perhaps one of the deeper roots of this anxiety is how our current situation forces us to come to grips with the reality that life is indeed ambiguous.
Oh, we like to think we are in control, on top of things; that we are the masters of our own destiny. Then life (in the form of a minuscule virus) comes along and says “you ain’t all that”.
Life unfolds for us, without need for our permission. Good happens. Bad happens. Life happens.
Being comfortable in life’s ambiguities begins by recognizing the things that we can control, and the things that we cannot. Steven Covey in his books on personal growth and leadership called these the circles of influence (things we can do something about) and the circle of concern (the things we can’t do anything about). The pandemic presents us with many more things in our circle of concern. However, living in this circle is a sure path to increased anxiety and fear.
There are, however, things that we can do, within our circle of influence, that will see us through. Caring for ourselves and our family’s safety. Helping others as best we can. Showing kindness in words and actions.
It’s all there in the Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Maybe that might be a good prayer to use and to live by, as we try to become more comfortable living within the ambiguities of life.
Amen